I can see the light...

Hola Amigos,

So yes I know I once again left you hanging there for a while. Hubster and I have been traveling and working and truly not much else has been going on in this camp. Last week we traveled to Michigan for the first time for a friend's wedding. What a lovely state (and a blessed break from the jungle sauna mosquito buffet warmer Houston temps).  

We got back Sunday night and have really just been trying to recoup since then.

So besides that I have just been doing my thing. Going to work, trying to keep my house in some kind of respectable shape, getting back to doing some cooking in the kitchen and this week I got to go back to my favorite spin class in the history of bikes-that-don't-go-anywhere at Define Body and Mind (I was at the River Oaks location).

Seriously - it's the best. One of my precious friends had 2 free classes extra on her membership and she graciously gifted them to me which was so so awesome and fun. It feels so good to get a good sweaty work out on so you can justify all those extra tortillas and bowls of ice cream continue to work on being the best you that you can be....right?! I am blessed...

Other than that I have just been counting down the days to not channeling my favorite childhood toy for much longer.

#mondaymorning am I right?! But seriously - barbie be gone already from my chestesses

Oh ya. For reals. It's actually gotten a lot better and I feel pretty normal but still...can't wait.

Initially we were shooting for Oct. 21 for my expander/implant exchange surgery. Unfortunately after that I was bumped to Nov 4 due to another active cancer case taking precedence on my procedure (ok ok...I "guess" active cancer can trump me...** please read this sarcastically** please treat those with active cancer before me - I'm cool with it...really). Then they called me this last Monday to see if they could bump me again to Nov 6.

I tried to be gracious. I did. However, truly from a work schedule, life schedule and blessed Baylor football attendance perspective (not to mention hitting the Ironman training road) - the further we got into November really wasn't my preference. I crossed my fingers and toes and anything else that can cross and asked if there was any possible way for me to be rescheduled anytime in October. She said it would be early but she would check with my surgeon and call me back. Thankfully a few hours later I got the best.call.yet. and she confirmed that my surgeon ok'ed me to have my implant exchange on Oct 14! I was so excited I LITERALLY let out a "woo! ya!" - fist pump and all on the phone while hiding in the middle of a storage closet off of the NICU floor. I pondered the possibility of throwing an epic celebratory dance party int he middle of a storage closet full of formula and diapers but rather went on with my day so thankful for this awesome change!

So there you have it people - in a little more than a month I'll be getting some real boobs! The surgery will be on a Tuesday and I'll be off the rest of this week. I have my 8 week post op appointment on Sept 17 so I'll get more details then but until then I'm walking on a rainbow road to boobville.

I'll make sure to update next week after my next post op but we are making progress over here! Thanks everyone for your awesome support and love! Here's to taking the next step!

Workin' on my fitness...

Hello internets...

Hope you are having a SUPER week and excited for the long weekend! I don't have to work Monday (I work in a hospital so Labor Day is frequently laborious for me) so I.am.pumped.

Speaking of pumped - I got back to the gym these last two weeks. O ya. Go me. 

The last month my attitude has been a bit more like this:

We needed to change that especially ramping up to building back some kind of base for Ironman training. Like I said in my last post - I was cleared to return to exercise that didn't have a lot of impact or weights involved. So...I have been rocking the elliptical, stair master, recumbent bike and spin class. Last week on my first time back I knocked out 40 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the recumbent bike to cool down. Afterwards...

Umm...ya...taking a month off was definitely felt. 

After that I headed back in to spin class.  I hadn't been back to spin in a while and I know it didn't always feel like this...

But it sure felt like it. Luckily I made it through the whole hour and have now gone a few times and it's feeling better! I can totally justify that nightly fro yo now right?!

Heck.Ya. 

So since then I've been back in spin class a few times and/or have done around an hour (+/- a little) of cardio on the bike or elliptical and even did a bike/"run" (elliptical) brick for a sprint tri distance on Monday and felt really good! 

So even though it's slow getting back I'm so thankful to be back exercising with some consistency. I can't wait to get back in the pool next month and really start going. (Yes I know I will regret those words in a few months...)

Next post op isn't until Sept 17 but everything on the recovery end is doing well so I'm thankful. Sleeping better, feeling better, working regular hours and working out so I'm feeling pretty normal'ish! MDACC called me this week though and doesn't look like they have an opening to do my 2nd surgery until Nov 4. Boo/Hiss. They are going to try to get me in earlier so hopefully that will pan out! Fingers crossed! 

That's about it on what's been going on on this side of the street. 

If any of you have worked out with me consistently you will know that one of my only major fitness goals is to be able to do one pull up. One. JUST ONE! I can't even come close but I found this:

Cute or depressing to have a panda in better shape than you? Can we go with cute? 

Have a great labor day everyone!  

Post Op Palooza! ...and a Baylor kind of weekend

Sorry again for the week long break in updates but it has been a great and very busy week. A brief summation:

Last Saturday hubby and I got to go see the Michael Jackson Cirque de Soleil show. It was so.cool. #AnnieAreYouOkFlyingUpInTheAirLikeThat?

Then This.Week.Was.Full.Of.Appointments

Like woah - and usually MDACC is REALLY good about putting appointments all on the same day but not this week. This week I had to follow up with 3 different clinics that are unfortunately all run on different days so I went and spent way too much on parking was a very good patient and made all my 30 day post op appointments!

Anybody else feel like follow up appointments are just some crazy alternate universe where life's purpose becomes to wait in the waiting room longer than you actually see a physician AND THEN YOU PAY THEM FOR IT? Don't get me wrong - I get it. Follow up are necessary. It's way important and I'm there no doubt. But still...

Monday: 30 day Post op with breast surgery. Dr. Mittendorf was my breast surgeon there at MDACC. For those that might be confused - recall that there are two surgeons in this procedure - the breast surgeon who performs the actual mastectomy (removal of the breast tissue) and then the plastic/reconstructive surgeon who puts it all back together. She (and some visiting surgeon from Spain...read: "welcome foreign man to this room of white ...here are my boobs...what do you think?") checked me out and said:  everything looks good (yay!), gave me an awkward'ish hand shake/side hug/high five because we all went for something different at the same time because I assumed a topless hug was just not something we were doing at that point (you gotta buy me dinner or something first right?!? What is that even - like 2nd base-and-a-half?...I digress), and discharged me from her service. So that was good. And awkward. But so is my life. C'est La Vie. One down - two to go.

Wednesday: Deja valet vu. 30 day post op with plastics. They are super pleased with my progress. We did the true last final fill (woot!) to bring me to 485 mls in my expander (this gets me to a full C/small D with a more projecting expander so I'll likely be much closer to a full C once I get implants as implants are softer - thank you jesus - and a little flatter than the expander). This last fill was definitely a harder one (no pun intended...sorta). I feel like I have two base balls surrounded by an elastic belt around my chest and the tight sore cramps feeling didn't really dissipate for like 4 days unlike the other fills where I felt fine after a days or so. Nothing a little ibuprofen can't fix though.

I got a full unrestricted release to go back to work, am now on a 15-20 lb limit (for occasional non strenuous lifting...still out of the weight room at the gym) and was cleared to start working out more on the elliptical or stair master and to start easing back into spin class! I don't have to follow up with them for a month now and next month I should be cleared to return to the pool and go back to yoga. I.am.pumped. to get to start working out again (although I have yet to get back...). We also started talking about scheduling my stage 2 implant surgery. Fingers crossed for sometime in the last 2 weeks of October! They typically want the expanders in for 8-12 weeks after the final fill so those weeks put me at either 10 or 11 weeks after final fill. This would really help with getting most things done before the holiday season and get me back to working out faster so I can start my true ironman training!

Thursday: 6 month follow up with Breast Oncology. This is the office my genetic counselor and physician are housed out of. This was an easy in and out appointment and I now will only check in with them every two years or so which is great news!

So now I'm pretty much down to just following up with plastics which is awesome. If all goes to plan I'll just have my follow up in September then another set of followup/preop appointments in October then implants! I am already on a no-more-barbie-boobs countdown!

I put in a full week's worth of hours at work this week too which was awesomely exhausting. So tired. So thankful to be back in the swing of things.

THEN to top off a super amazing week my sister, niece and I decided to go to the best college around hands down our alma mater BAYLOR this weekend for a last minute girls trip! We had such a blast reminiscing about great old times, walking campus, taking tons of pictures, dressing her sweet little one up in more Baylor gear than one girl can even handle, seeing our amazing new stadium that we will be cleaning house in all season and eating and eating and eating at all our favorite places. It was great. I am so thankful for my sister. She's the best. And she makes pretty amazingly precious babies. It was a really sweet time.

So between all that and hanging out with the hubs and trying to get some sleep it's been a busy and awesome and crazy and super duper week (alternate note - I'm sleeping better but still not much at all. It's just really hard to get comfortable. If anyone has any tips on finding more sound sleep when on your back or side'ish I'm all ears).

So that's all folks! No appointments again until next month but I'll still be updating at least weekly to keep ya'll updated on the fun going on around here.

Hope you have an awesome blessed amazing week! Remember - only 20 more Fridays (or 10 more paychecks) until Christmas! Yep...I'm starting already.

Happy Monday!

You Betta Work!

Hey all!

So sorry for the radio silence this week! It's been a great week but between work and life I've been pretty pooped!

First off - this was my first full week back to working 5 days in a row.

 I.was.so.excited.Monday. I'm pretty sure I woke Alex up in some way like this:

He really appreciated it...that's totally how he loves to be woken from peaceful slumber and reminded it's Monday. Right babe?!? 

I worked shortened hours and did pretty well! I was pretty tired and my chest felt really tight/I was definitely uncomfortable by the end of the day but otherwise it was great! 

We also had precious friends bring us dinner MWF this week which was such a life saver bc I just couldn't get myself to cook this week. The support of meals has been so.great. during this process and really helped so much. Thanks to our amazing friends and church group for this!! 

I had my next post op appointment this last Wednesday. Everything went really well. This past week I really started putting on my clothes again to get an idea of size and fit, etc. I went into this process as a 32D and am not interested in getting back to being that big again so going into the appointment I really felt as though we were really close to where I wanted to be (my goal is a full C'ish). 

*disclaimer: while this whole "customizable" sort of side to the tissue expanders is cool - I find it also very very bizarre**

My surgeon agrees. She is being very conservative with filling the tissue expanders only a little bit at a time (35 mls again this week so I went from 385 mls to 420 in the expander) because that tissue on the right side continues to heal. We had always estimated that somewhere around 450-500mls  would probably be my ideal size given my build so next week should be my last fill and we can move forward with scheduling reconstruction/putting in implants!

These expanders are no joke especially as they are getting bigger. They are super hard and don't move. at. all. It's like having baseballs for boobs (and shooting more for softballs...or something) or channeling barbie or  Amy Poehler or something. 

And I still don't have great sensation up top so if you see me straight up walk 'em into a door frame or something...ummm ya. Wouldn't be the first time. 

Ideally they like for the expander to be in around 3 months since the final expansion before you get implants. That technically pushes me into the beginning of November but I'm asking them/we are seeing if it's possible for me to get implants towards the end of October so that I'm pretty set by the time the holidays and ironman training are getting into full swing (and we have Baylor and OSU  football tickets for 10/18 (OSU/TCU) and 11/22 (BU/OSU)...must.schedule.around. PRIORITIES PEOPLE! It's football season!) . Jury is still out on that one - fingers crossed! I should hopefully have more details next Wednesday. 

Next week I have all my 30 day follow ups with breast surgery, breast oncology and plastic surgery so I should definitely be learning a lot!

Also - my plastic surgeon said after next week she will likely release me to do more, go back to work unrestricted and hopefully working out a little bit more than just strolling!!

Please please please. 

So other than that we have a super fun weekend planned. We missed out on seeing the Michael Jackson Cirque de Soleil show when we were in Vegas in February and wouldn't you know it - it came up on Living Social way cheaper for their tour in Houston tonight so we are going! I am super excited to see it! I really wanna see a chinese contortionist acrobat take on:

Especially the zombie sassy hey-ho arm move. Oh ya. 

Happy weekend everyone!

A Weekend update...

Hello internet cohorts friends...

Just a little update. Things have been good. Since Wednesday I have had a few bumps in the road getting back to a normal work schedule but we are on the upswing. I progressively went from 4 to 5 to 6 hours at work by Friday which was good. Definitely not as productive as I'd like it to have been but good nonetheless.

I cut 13 inches off my hair - I could not handle the mop top mane any.more. in this summer weather. I couldn't believe how much better I felt once it was short! They say a girl that changes her hair can change her life. So here's to a hair chop - let's change it up around here!

By some likely herald of a pending apocalypse because that is the only thing that can explain it miracle - it has only been in the eighties outside this weekend. THE EIGHTIES PEOPLE!! IN THE FIRST WEEKEND IN AUGUST! And it was less humid than if I were to move to the heart of the dark amazon or reside in a greenhouse or build a shelter inside of a Campbell's boiling soup plant so that's a total win (for me and my hair!). I have lived here pretty much all my life and cannot recall the last time I was able to walk outside on Aug. 1 and not feel like I was swamp-thing's second cousin by the time I walked through a parking lot. Good one Texas weather. Keep it up.

That being said I decided to take advantage of it and really start walking farther distances (since that's all I'm cleared to do at this point). The first day I got in 2 miles and the second day 2.7 miles and felt really good. I was shocked at how poor my endurance was for afterwards though - between that and work I have taken a SOLID nap every day this week and weekend for at least an hour. So ya - that's gonna have to change but I am SO thankful to be getting out and getting somewhat of a workout'ish thing in. At least I know I could walk to the first first aid station in the Ironman - right?!?

So this week the plan is for me to work 8:30-3'ish Monday-Friday. Thankfully we have meals still coming this week 3 days which have been SUCH a huge huge help as I am pretty much a zombie by the end of the day.

Alex also got to do a full grocery run with me this weekend. I'm definitely the primary grocery runner/house things doer so that was an marriage building experience adventure which Alex totally aced. Way to go hubs. This means you're doing it all the time now so I don't have to experience the special hell of Sunday afternoon grocery lines?!? Right?!? Right!? Sweet!

So not a lot other than that going on. Feeling good. We got to get back to church today too which was awesome. We have a new pastor on staff at our church who is really incredible so it's been great to hear him speak. Today's sermon was on love not just being some strange feeling but choosing to love in all situations and interactions and people. It was really great and such a great reminder to me to not only be more intentional in my choices to love others in good and bad and happy and sad or frustrating or celebrating situations but also to love myself. Not in a narcissistic kind of way but in a way that when you walk through something that is stressful or strange or out of your comfort zone or whatever - that you have a choice. You have a choice to love yourself and to be so thankful for that opportunity to love inwardly and be so grateful for the blessings in your life and then to move in that love and choose to love outwardly no matter the circumstance. (Sorry Eric if that wasn't totally a great summation of the sermon...but definitely some great take aways today!) That doesn't really go with this post but I thought it was a great take home thought going into this week. So there you go :-)

I'm so glad to be back in a more routine schedule and able to do more in general. Next post-op appointment is Wednesday so I'll check with ya'll after that!

Have a great rest of the weekend and Happy Monday!

The greatest day...

Today was a great day ya'll. And there's going to be a lot of pictures. You're ok with that right?

You know those days where you feel really silly for feeling a certain way...and then things change and  you feel totally better.

Ya apply that to yesterday and today's post. 

So here's how today went:

7:30 AM - Hubs got up early with me to be the #1 appointment with my surgeon today. I can tell I was really anxious about this appointment because last night I did guided relaxation exercises IN.MY.DREAMS. Literally. What does that even say about me?!? Never mind I don't want to know. Anyways... I gave my drain collection chart to my nurse - she perused it and said: "Hannah - I'll check with Dr. Crosby but I don't think these drains are coming out today." Aaaand since I am so mature and handle things totally rationally I responded like this:

She gave me a hug and said she was going to go get my Dr. at which moment Alex just hugged me tight as if on cue:

Good one hubs. 

So like 5 minutes pass and I get a knock on the door expecting Dr. Crosby and it's her nurse again. And she says

"Hannah - so we accidentally read the chart wrong - your drains are actually coming out today for sure!"
To which I responded:

Excited doesn't even begin to describe it people. 

And they did my first expansion - they only expanded 35 mls because even though it's healing - we are still being cautious with that tissue on the right side (which takes me to a total of 385 mls in the expander - I will probably get to between 400-500 before being back where I was before'ish).  So that was awesome too!

The expansion didn't hurt at all but removing the last two drains after the expanders were larger was definitely very uncomfortable (whereas I barely felt the first two that were removed last week) and I started having muscle spasms again. Thankfully they dissipated fairly quickly, I took some ibuprofen and was feeling much better in no time!

So since I'm off pain meds and have no drains - I'm back on the grid! I got my booty back home, changed my clothes, GOT THE CAR KEYS AND HEADED IN TO WORK! Booyah!

I only did half day hours (12:15-4:30) and didn't actually see any patients today but I was able to get through all my email, meet and catch up with my awesome-sauce boss and most of my super amazing team, say hi to a few of the very incredible nurses I work with and plant some thank you notes around the work place! And I felt great the whole time! 

Then I got back in my car, drove back home and now I'm just chilling. I'm definitely starting to cramp up a bit (Dr. C said I probably wouldn't start feeling any pain or spasms until later today/tonight) and hurt a little more but nothing that's not totally manageable. So the tentative plan is for me to work half days the remainder of this week and then go forward from there next week. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me, prayed for me and encouraged me this week! I can't even tell you how much it means to me! You bring me joy!

I feel like a new person. It's amazing how just getting back into even a little bit of your routine helps so.much. And it definitely helps that I'm not attached to tubes and plastic vacuum hand grenades of my own body fluids for sure. Peace out apathy - I got no place for you here. Happy girls only. 

Feelin' good. Kickin' high. Good Day.  Thank you Jesus.